Everything's so easy when you've downed a pint or two
The things that were so difficult now don't bother you
The girl who had a bison's face
Now looks like a vision
Now it seems so easy just
To make that hard decision
Yes that stunner fancies you
Despite her strong derision
Yes everything's so easy when you've downed a pint or two

Everything's so easy when you've downed a pint or two
The wrinkles that adorned your face add character to you
The aching knees, and flabby gut
simply do not matter
In fact you're sure you would improve perhaps if you were fatter
Your mates bad breath, your wife's fat arse they simply must be told
You can't believe how easy it is to be so brave and bold.
You sing so well and dance to perfection and yes
You support animal vivisection
Yes everything's so easy when you've downed a pint or two

But come the morning through bleary eyes
Memories flood back
"Did I say that to my wife, before I hit the sack?
Did I tell my neighbour that her hubby was a twat?
Surely I didn't dance naked on the sideboard in her hat.
Oh my God it was me, who made that awful stink
I think I'll just stay here in bed, then have another drink, yes that's the thing to do
Cos everything's so easy when you've downed a pint or two