It's that time of year again, the office party. It's interesting to reflect on how mine have changed over the years. Two have lead to marriage and one to divorce whilst in between have been all manner of fun times and horror stories.
It's not easy to pick out the best one I can remember, as some have been memorable but I can certainly choose the worst quite easily. I don't drink much nowadays, not particularly through choice but simply because I don't enjoy it the way I used to. The Christmas office party in 1979 started well. We had a good meal, three men and fourteen women. We drank and made merry, flirted and did all the usual things that happen when freedom and alcohol mix. I drank too much, far too much and the alcohol progressed from groin to gob.
When I have had too much to drink I become ridiculously honest and life becomes very simple. A work colleague has B.O.? Difficult when sober to broach the subject but easy when alcohol fuelled. We had a large Jewish woman in the office who was unpleasant 99% of the time. She wore thick glasses, woolly cardigans and capped it all off with an appalling curly wig which I, at first, thought was a hat it was so bad. You could see the lining at the front as it jutted out from under the horse hair.
Late in the evening I found myself sitting next to her. She was being her usual unpleasant snarly self when I decided it was a good idea to try to change her life style for the better. I can still hear myself saying it to her now.
"Blanche, why are always such an obnoxious sod? If you lost two or three stones, got rid of those horrible glasses and bought a decent wig you'd be quite nice looking" I went on after that but what words were exchanged are a blur.
The following day was my last in the office as I had resigned to take a new job in January. I did think of taking the cowards way out and not going in as soon as I remembered what had happened the night before. I couldn't do that. I felt so bad I had to face up and give a heartfelt grovelling apology. I was in the office before her and prepared myself. She boomed in as usual, took off her coat and sat at her desk. I was about to get up when she beat me to it and lumbered down the office to me. I stood up to speak but she raised her hand to stop me. I ignored her and started to apologise. She took no notice and stared at me before saying "You said some awful things to me last night" "I know" I replied "and I am disgusted with myself".
There was a short pause before she looked into my eyes and I saw her tears welling. "You know what was the worst?" she asked. I shook my head, prepared to take my punishment. "Every word you said was true".
She could not have said anything to make me feel worse. I felt humbled and small. I never saw her after that other than when when I left that day and she came over, wished me well and gave me a kiss. She was a much bigger and better person than I am.
Which brings my on to last night. There were about 200 in this marquee, all separate office parties. Our table was actually in front of the stage on the dance floor so we were surrounded once the music started. It was brilliant. Lots of young people, determined to enjoy themselves and we enjoyed being in their company. One, rather lovely girl took a shine to us and kept sitting with us, finally ending up insisting on having her photo taken with one of us. The cynic might say she was taking the piss, but she wasn't. She found us as entertaining as we found her and her friends.
What a shame that the Christmas spirit which crosses generations, soon melts into the harsh realities of another years toil ahead.
