Meanwhile, six months later.

I had my PSA levels checked this week and attended the clinic in Leeds this morning. I was expecting to see the consultant but I saw the willy nurse instead. I always assumed the nurse that dealt with erectile issues would be some gorgeous, stocking wearing, peep hole bra clad nurse but no. She was a lovely woman but quite obviously someone's Mum.

Today I found out that the arteries in the willy are the second smallest in the body. The gums have the smallest. I found out that they run in clumps either side of the willy and it is they that engorge with blood when you see a pork pie (that's an old joke) or a cream bun. I found out that Cialis is prescribed after prostate surgery because it has a longer half life than all the other generic drugs. I now know what a half life is too. Although I had one of the two sets of nerves removed during the op, the reason why recovery takes so long is due to the surviving nerves being badly bruised. She likened it to squatting on the floor for half a day then expecting your legs to work when you stand up. It actually made sense to me. During the op the nerves are held back from the surgery site by metal clamps. Sometimes they do not recover at all.

The usual recovery tie is two years, if it happens at all. I am happy that I am ahead of this timeline but I now have to use a device to ensure that the arteries don't atrophy until something like normal function returns. Jan and I kept giving each other amused glances as she talked. I cannot imagine using the device. It isn't even good looking. They could have at least made it smell like a Cadburys whole nut or a kit kat to make me want it. Imagine having a blow job off Anne Widdicombe after she'd lived with Bobby Brown for a couple of years and you'll get the picture.

So, a new chapter begins. It will be interesting. I think I'll only use it at home as a policeman shining his torch through the car window whilst your heaving away on a stirrup pump doesn't hold much attraction. Dogging is out all together. I'll keep you posted.


p.s. My PSA level was 0.01, about as low as you can get. Only four and a half years to go to be officially cured.