We went out for a meal last weekend with one of the small number of friends we have that you could call "spiritual". I can think of a much more apt and descriptive word but, as we enjoy their company, I refrain from my usual excesses.
Elaine has a guru. I would say, had a guru, but she disagrees as she still talks to him even though he died some years ago. She met him on a trip to India and he changed her life around. She readily admits to having lived life to the full but is now almost teetotal, a raging veggie and a little bit preachy. When I say a little bit preachy, I mean a lot preachy. I am pleased to say she no longer bothers with me. I am a lost cause not destined to enjoy the fruits of reincarnation due to my lack of faith or understanding. Even worse than not coming back, I may come back a little lower in the food chain. This got me to thinking about reincarnation and, what I would prefer to be reincarnated as.
My first question would be, how long do you have to wait before you come back and, if it's not instantaneous, what do you do whilst your waiting. Take Glen Hoddle. What the hell must he have been in a previous life to have come back as Glen Hoddle? If you come back straight away, it rules out Hitler or Stalin. Marcel Berré (12 November 1882 – 27 October 1957) was a Belgian Olympic fencer who died around the time that Hoddle was born. Hoddle is renown for always sitting on the fence so there is a loose link there. Hoddle is a God botherer and I sometimes wonder if the Almighty (I'll suspend my beliefs for a short while) may get a little irritated with them.
If we assume there is just one God and the world religions choose to call him by a different name, just think of how many people are asking favours from him at any one time. He/she/it must get sick to death of it. I know I would. How often in life are we intrigued by the people that ignore us and take for granted the devout friends? I reckon I must be really high on his list of preferred subjects by now.
I have solved the mystery of people who have near death experiences. They all seem to come up with the same shared experience, describing being drawn to a bright light. Isn't it obvious? At the point of death we all become moths! Those little buggers are always drawn to the light. Moths are frees souls awaiting rebirth. If you see one in your wardrobe, eating your clothes, don't hit it with a newspaper. Talk to it. Let it hear soothing words as it passes from one life to the next. Git rid of the Flit and Vapona. At night, light every lamp you can to draw these wondrous beings towards you and bask in their spiritual glow. Sadly I have just realised that our cat must be responsible for the untimely demise of many a freed soul and, as for the chickens!
Having taken all this into account, I have decided what to aim for. I know what my next reincarnation will be if I get my wish so ladies, after my demise, when you sit on your bicycle or put on that soft creamy bra, think of me. I may be looking at you.
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